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Guest: Jen Valera
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Episode 16
Sleep
Sleep deprived? Listen in to this episode mamas to learn about the science behind sleep, sleep development, sleep coaching, shaping, and training. You'll learn so many tricks by tuning in to this episode with Jen Varela, Sleep Training Expert!
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No material from our hosts or guests is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. We strive to provide you with education and information so that you can then go to your own provider and get an individualized approach to your medical needs and questions. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard in this podcast.
Show Notes:
First let’s start with some definitions:
Sleep Shaping (used for under 6 months of age) - Where the focus is on sleep hygiene and its only done at bedtime.
Sleep Coaching - Where the parent is present and there may or may not be crying.
Sleep Training - Using a specific method for a specific amount of time where the parent may or may not be present and there may or may not be crying.
Sleep Readiness - From a biological standpoint you want to make sure you have the right sleep pressure.
Can I wait to sleep coach? Yes. If you’re doing it safely and you have a plan, great. If you aren’t doing it by design but by default, you may want to consider making a transition.
What are awake windows of a baby?
When you wake, you start building adrenalin, then melatonin helps with the onset of sleep. At 3 months of age, melatonin begins to be present in baby’s body.
The awake window under 6 months of age is under 90min. If they are awake longer than 90min, cortisol kicks in.
Prior to 6 months of age you can’t create bad habits. But at 6 months old, they are past the 4-5 month old developmental leap, object permanence is in place, and their awake window is longer.
Sleep Shaping Techniques:
Keep in mind that, “Not normal is normal!”
The typical progression is - Awake for 90min, then play, then soothe.
You absolutely must protect the awake windows. If you can protect one window, protect the last wake window for a good night's sleep!
Pay attention to your kiddo’s temperament to see if they are ready for sleep. Do they have?
Red eyes
Mild fussiness
Zoning out
Yawning
Restlessness
For babies who only respond to movement, work on sleep shifts where you toggle between what you are doing and what you want them to do (ex. low movements and high movements).
When it comes to sleep training, focus on sleep in a 24-hour period of time. Are they getting enough, is your family functioning and is what you are doing working?
Again, do whatever you can to protect that last nap window. Try and get sunshine in the morning (20 minutes in morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon), and arrange regular eating times.
Nap striking can happen at 18 months and children can literally will themselves to stay awake.
Then there are also milestones. If they go through a big event, you may see more night awakenings. Once they are past the big event provide them with what they need. Nighttime parenting: sometimes our kids need a little comfort, soothing, and reassurance after experiencing big events at night. Your intuition as a parent is the best tool you have.
Teething: if you wait to sleep train every time they cut a tooth, you might miss the opportunity.
Whatever you do for them when the lights go out, that’s their sleep association.
Trouble with weaning off night time feedings?
Try changing the order of the nursing/feeding in your bedtime routine. Try this routine - put PJ’s on, sing a song, nurse with lights on (so you can distinguish and know your baby is fed or has a sleep-suck association. You can offer nursing again with the lights off and see if they flutter nurse because they are full). Next transition to movement to support baby with falling asleep. You can also add in your partner to help get baby to sleep vs. the nursing mom.
If you can’t tolerate the crying with your baby and partner working through it, then it creates toxic stress for the mom and you may go in and rescue the baby. When you do that, you can actually teach your baby to cry because they know they just have to cry longer and harder and mom will eventually come.
Co-Sleeping: If the parent is sleeping and the baby is sleeping. Then there is bed sharing and room sharing. It’s great to have a seperate room and seperate sleep surface. Couches and recliners are the most dangerous places to sleep with baby.
Check-in every 3 weeks to make sure what you are doing is safe.
Dr. James McKenna Guidelines - https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
Try just the crib mattress on the floor and lay next to them if they’re having a difficult night.
La Leche League International: The Safe Sleep 7 https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/
PMAD https://postpartumhealthalliance.org/
Post Partum Support International https://www.postpartum.net/
TIPS:
Connect with moms who are a little further along than you are. Where do they get support?
Trust your intuition.
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